i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
