it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
