five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
