So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize