Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
