Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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