i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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