I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
