Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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