"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
