Swine flu. Run for my life!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize