ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
