I'm pants shitting drunk right now
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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