ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
