I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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