i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
