Swine flu. Run for my life!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
