Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
