I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
