Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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