i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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