I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize