We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
