Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
