I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize