omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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