I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
