I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
