I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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