Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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