i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
