Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She's the barista slut.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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