Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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  (970): The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito. http://tfl.nu/8dlm
  Replies (23) Good night (705) Bad night (3382)
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  (408): View more from California

  So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.

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  (408): So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed. http://tfl.nu/urd8
  Replies (13) Good night (732) Bad night (5899)
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  (916): View more from California

  You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..

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  (916): You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you.. http://tfl.nu/8fyi
  Replies (24) Good night (1037) Bad night (9372)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.

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  (360): Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk. http://tfl.nu/ed4r
  Replies (12) Good night (4625) Bad night (831)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.

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  (214): i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night. http://tfl.nu/pbft
  Replies (12) Good night (1145) Bad night (7992)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash

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  (570): So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash http://tfl.nu/zmae
  Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (3096)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We left an ass print on the piano.

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  (518): We left an ass print on the piano. http://tfl.nu/qaoo
  Replies (23) Good night (4067) Bad night (1034)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat

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  (978): Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat http://tfl.nu/fgz1
  Replies (17) Good night (4483) Bad night (1241)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party

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  (860): hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party http://tfl.nu/8e30
  Replies (2) Good night (2206) Bad night (884)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.

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  (561): We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out. http://tfl.nu/9buc
  Replies (18) Good night (878) Bad night (2419)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.

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  (770): You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL. http://tfl.nu/941m
  Replies (3) Good night (1033) Bad night (581)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.

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  (785): I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/gaew
  Replies (5) Good night (1452) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.

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  (724): It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over. http://tfl.nu/5f4b
  Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (503)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...

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  (608): We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man... http://tfl.nu/qmi3
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?

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  (828): Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive? http://tfl.nu/mouo
  Replies (0) Good night (327) Bad night (248)

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