You don't have asthma, your pregnant
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.