Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
