I am full of burrito and curiosity
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Everclear isn't food dammit
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
