hotel room ftw
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Come see our sink grown plant.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I want a musical about memes.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
