i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
