i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
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the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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