"it" just moved
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
