R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
