hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
