Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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