I wish I could teleport
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
