I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
