and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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