Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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