Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize