She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
