I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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