I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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