Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
