he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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