The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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