My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
