In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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