i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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