That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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