Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
