Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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