I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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